The final goodbye

It feels like this~ I'd expected it to be... maybe I'm just thinking too much

I'm feeling extremely down because I had just came to terms that I might not be as good a pal/ as close a friend to my crazy bunch of friends any longer.

I know I will move on - as I always do but I'm still sad and it made me very and even more unsociable. I didnt even bothered to take an effort in greeting my relatives. I just wanted to coop up in my room and cry ... like I always do when I'm super sad back in Kampar. But now I can't.

haiz, have to readapt lol.

I will miss my friends!! I will miss you all~

Paintball = Painball

seriously, paintball = painball lol!

First round I kena one on the arm coz I tried to wei gong them, there's a person there hiding but I cant seem to hit him/her but then no one to backup me haiz... could have shot him/her one.

Second round, I tot they ran out of bullets, so I ran to the car there, kena quite a lot - mask 1, chest 2 and arm another one.

Third round, tried to hide behind the aluminium plate there. Works pretty well, didn't kena at all, but then we lost the flag when I took a break from shooting.

Fourth round, tried to hide behind car, kena 1 stray shot coz car no doors one zzzz.

Fifth round, death match - hid behind the barrel there providing cover fire for Si Nan and Terry. I think I did a pretty good job, coz they managed to kena 3 people there. Had to leave the scene coz ran out of bullets though.

Last round death match, hid behind the hill there to try to provide cover but then, gun jammed for awhile, then they ldy ran so far in front dy. Heard that someone's coming from the right so I turned right only to see Kin Tat retreating. Then I started shooting randomly coz cannot see. Fire was returned and kena my leg, I press myself flat against the hill, take a deep breathe, and returned fire, then hid again. But then, this time, he just stood up and shoot down from above, kena my other leg. But b'coz of him standing up, he kena shot by Si Nan ahahah. :)

This is the blow-by-blow account of my experience. 5 bruises total - 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 shoulder joint (this one sooooo painful)

Seriously lah~ cannot see at all - my specs fogged up, my mask fogged up ish~. If I can see, I can shoot way better :| and maybe can become sniper liao ahahah - my specialty.

Anyway, it's a good experience :P Had fun and will go another time if this time the mask is anti-fogging one - fogged up cannot see at all - plus our red vests showed more clearly then blue lor. Blue hardly can see one pun :\

FYP VIVA presentation

Finally the time is here.

I've known that I've gotten a lot of non-results from my FYP and now, I've realised I've did it wrong all along! @.@

In my opinion, negative control is an empty agar without inoculum to check for contaminants, but now the bomb here is that I am wrong - it is supposed to be std bact that was inoculated that will definitely show negative results. Gosh! what a BOMB @.@

Next leh, I've realised I forgot to do 'negative controls' for some of the tests :|

And some of the already existing problems, like:


- having only ODs for the tolerance tests

- I'm up against the toughest microbio lecturers in UTAR :S

I'M SO DEAD~

You know, I am so proud of my results, of my work but then comes the interpretation part, then I realised... Wow, I did a lot of work with wide loopholes that I didn't notice at first and, like that one with the neg ctrls, perhaps not even now! This sucks... if I get a bad grade because of this.

Some how I'm stuck with this curse of having a huge mega bomb at the end of every primary school, high school or now, uni. Should I just go and face the music? (embarrass myself?) It's not exactly my fault either... I didn't get good guidance and I had trouble coping - but I can't blame my supervisor for anything and, not to mention, my friends also did better than me even with her supervisor not guiding as much.

I hate this~ I wish I could have just done it better. Maybe I should be more reckless and get myself killed or something :( (*emo-ing*) Sigh~ I'll just do as much as I can and well, get ready a thicker face skin and just do it.

Resolve!

Although am sad and disappointed, it's all my own fault so... well, I shall muster up more effort and convince myself that there are still second and even third chances. I must not mess up this time - I WILL do it. 'Nuff said

Last month of my degree life

Yes, it's April 2012 and it's the last month I'll be here at UTAR Kampar~

Mixed feelings indeed - but I'm already more sad than happy that I'm graduating soon.

Being with these bunch of crazy, adorable friends for 4 years - relying on each other, playing with them, joke around with them, enjoy fun moments with them, photo shoots etc~ well, it's suffice to say I will miss them dreadfully and the time we had together. How I hope time could just stand still for a moment more, or that I can go back in time to re-experience all these once again. I can't and I will never get to do so. I'll make do with what little time I have left - and spend them with my BFF friends as much as I can =)

Life moves on and it waits for no one - I must move on too. But that doesn't mean I cant bring my memories with me and my friends along with it :) I'll make sure I don't experience the loss of friendship with my secondary school friends in this case... we must keep in touch and stay in touch. Fb will help I guess but I'll put in the effort to do so.

Together we can face whatever challenges ahead that life has to offer!

**Despite the self-pitying post I posted 2 months' ago, I love my friends and I would like them to know that. I have always appreciated them no matter how I may seem to them externally - I may not be the sort of person to show my feelings openly in public but I am trying hard to let them know that I less than 3 them xP well, I think they got the drift anyway :) - the LL and LZ group - Kai Wen, Yin Huan, Kit Yin, Hann Lum, Ming Jack, Kin Tat (added my foundation buddies, Poh Zen, Chia Woon, Wei Yin ^^) #FF

Tyler ward - Shake it up

*Wrote this lyrics by ear so it may be wrong - plus I can't seem to find its lyrics on google so I thought I might as well post this up*

Hey you do you remember me?

I used to call you friend

Like stars falling from the sea/scene

Of forever having faith

Have you forgotten?

Can you remember 17?

Back to when you help

To bring the sun down

It's getting back somehow

Take it up break it down again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Light it up turn around again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Hey you do you remember when

I felt like we could fly

Warm night of summer our my skin

The fire from the skies

Have we forgotten?

Can we remember 17?

Back to when you help

To bring the sun down

It's getting back somehow

Take it up break it down again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Light it up turn around again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Take it up break it *down* again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Light it up turn *around* again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Take it up break it down again

Light it up turn around again

Take it up break it down again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Light it up turn *around* again

start me up shake it up shake it up

Take it up break it down again

Woooooohh woooohhhh

Light it up turn around again

Woooooohh wooooohhhh

"One of his best songs eva! Tyler rocks!" =)

My rants, rebuttals and comments on Joseph Kony and KONY 2012

Seriously, why all the hatin'?

firstly, people who specially set up a blog with a catchy name (URL) just to write on a video posted a mere 2 days ago are people who are cashing in on the attention. If you want to write your OWN opinion on something, write it on your OWN personal blog. *cough* http://visiblechildren.tumblr.com.nyud.net/ *cough* Funny that he mentioned he had >1000 emails everyday commenting on his blog on the Kony vid. By putting up that number, he's showing off.

Secondly, this video, although it does ask for donations, is MAINLY for raising AWARENESS and gaining support from the people to pressure those other people who have the power to do something about Kony and free the kids, and in that aspect, it succeeded. Previously, I had no idea whatsoever who Kony is and what he is doing in godknowswhere, but now I do and I intended to try help do something, no matter how little, to stop it. Lending our support to a rightful cause is right. Also, from various social networking sites, I do see celebrities promise to try do their part to help those kids.

Oh right... you say 'something is not always better than nothing'? For something that is oh so obviously wrong, you couldn't be any more wrong by saying that. Well, I have no idea where you get your early education from or lack thereof, but since when kidnapping children, abusing them, forcing them to kill for you and slavery has anything good about it?

It's their culture you may say... hell, what century are we in right now? Are we still in the middle ages where kids starting from the age 5 needed to work to support their family and where the people cannot live beyond the age of 40 (exceptions are excluded)? oh and when a culture promotes child abuse (both physical and sexual) or perhaps cannibalism, it's no longer a recognised culture - the same thing with religion; ever heard of Satanism? yeah... well, it's an illegal religion for some reason and I'm sure you're clever enough to know why...

Though, from 2 sources, they say that the organization behind the campaign, Invisible Children, is shady. Again, are you people naive? ofc they are shady... heck, almost all smaller charity organizations look shady, not to mention, some larger charity organizations as well. Again, let me stress that the vid is about raising awareness MAINLY. However, take note of this, if you're going to donate to a charity, you will of course check it through before you do so.... unless you're so filthy rich lar or you don't care where your money actually goes to.... or if you're not sure, just don't donate but help in other ways...

Besides that, some people may perceive that awareness shouldn't be at the top of the agenda for the organization. Well, that's a grey area IMHO coz the people heading the organization may not think so... I think they believe that 2012 is the last year US gov is donating some of the troops to work with the local military on how to best tackle the problem. Once the year is over, there's no way Kony will be stopped (unless a miracle happen or something like that). Hence, they need the people's help to pressure the gov for more time or for more help... all the while, the rebuilding and building of schools are still on-going (I think) and their Invis Children early warning system is still working as usual. Awareness is of outmost importance as of now coz of the time limit set by the gov.

On the 'Direct confrontation' issue.... who are we to say which method is suitable to use in a war except those who are involved in it? They are the ones who understand the real situation there... though from what I saw, I believe those LRA guys are using guerilla tactics that, well, just read M'sia history textbook one more time then... the tactic is super effective. After fighting for SO LONG, the British only managed to reduce the number of guerilla members through propaganda and strict curfew and control - to force them into the peace talks (but then it failed...)

In this case, propaganda is out of the question. These kids are abducted at a VERY YOUNG age (about 5 yrs old from the vid) and since they lack education in that area, they won't be able to read at all - unless Kony is so kind enough to let them learn their ABCs while learning how to handle a weapon. Also, even if they know about the concept of surrender, they are too afraid of dying to run away - and let's not forget there are worse things a person can do to another person than just dying....

Next, peace talks aren't working and, from the info in the vid, Kony used the time during 'peace talks' to restock his weapons and start the war again ... and that's definitely not a good thing. Also, his regime (might be misusing a word there) spanned 26 years, the kids who was abducted the earliest will have already reached adulthood and with 26 years of brainwashing, guess what? They may have already become his loyal troops now - blindly following his orders without question. Not to mention, the kids may have been so traumatised and/or brainwashed until they are willing to shoot the 'enemy' just to get their 'master's' approval. That's a dilemma... imagine you are a soldier in Afgan. and, while trying to rescue one of your captive soldier, are faced with a child soldier. He/she has already took down 2 of your teammates by proly shooting blindly and he/she is aiming at you.... do you shoot to defend yourself (but what if he doesn't shoot you? then it'll be murder...)? or don't shoot and risk that chance that the kid may blast your head off? [note that there's nowhere nearby to take cover]

Moreover, note that currently, they have NO IDEA where the hell his base is. That's the cherry on top of guerilla warfare. They will need the help of locals/ local troops who are familiar with the landscape to search for him. And here comes the dilemma, to endanger the lives of the locals by asking for their help or to ask trained soldiers to help? I guess they have decided to go with the soldiers - again, in every army, there are bad stuff and there are the good stuff. They may have decided that a little evil (consorting with bad people) is necessary to bring the bigger evil to justice.

Also, from what I rmb, there is no mention of the exact words "DIRECT CONFRONTATION" in their vid... but military involved is necessary. What the soldiers will do next is still in the unknown area - they might snipe out the main lieutenants and Kony himself or do something more stealthy...I dunno. I hope the troops know what they are doing... even with the US consultants. I'll bet if the entire operation can be taken over by their US troops, they will willingly let the soldiers do so - but then, the gov can't spare troops or risk their lives in a situation where national security is not affected...

Moral panic... well, now there's a new way of saying bad stuff about people's characters ya...? This shows you have a very low opinion of human compassion and boundaries that it can push people through. From my way of seeing things, people can be generally grouped into a few groups in these kinds of situation, 1. Those who will go to great lengths to help because they feel strongly about helping those who are in need, and those who experienced the pain that can be associated to these kinds of situation (kid abduction) etc 2. Those who want to help but won't or can't contribute any cash, so they do whatever they can from the comforts of their homes (provided that this kind of contribution helps)

3. Those who noticed the problem, whine about it a bit, then brush it off as the problem doesn't affect them in any way

4. Those who don't care at all

5. Those who purposefully take advantage of this to rise in fame (both good/bad)

6. Those who support the obviously bad guys - sickos!

Another thing, yes according to the vid itself, it mentioned that the LRA has expanded to over other countries and has not bothered with Uganda anymore... so... we shouldn't help them anymore? You would help Uganda but not the other countries? They may need help too...... Kony will use the same tactic to further expand his territory - by kidnapping and forcing kids in slavery. His crimes have not stopped! And some of the kids he brought along with him have families/ relatives in Uganda and that they are of Ugandan (Sorry if this word is wrong :P) nationality, Uganda should still contribute to the effort to end the war.

Furthermore, from the video, I've noticed that in US, the people's voice does matter although it may take them some time to get noticed. With that in mind, I reflect back on our condition in M'sia.... we still have a long way to go!

In short, I dunno about other people but I for one support the cause (not necessarily the organization) of this campaign. These kind of people are worse than the common criminal as they are doing crimes at a bigger scale and for a ridiculously long period of time. but, as you can see, being on top of the list of wanted international criminals did little to bring him to justice. (Different people may have a different way of perceiving justice btw.)

Now... if only Anson Wong (I'll bet you have no idea who he is, unless you read NatGeo, hence, I rest my case) can be brought to everyone's attention through this way in order to stop him.... sigh well, we can't get everything...

**If you're not happy with what I've written, feel free to post hate comments. I'm sure the world needs more haters around ... lol. okay, on a more serious note, I'm interested to see how people react to my badly written rants, so constructive comments only.

** If you want to share, ask for my permission :| If not, then great...

**Lastly, check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPDJ6WlXzxU&feature=g-all-u&context=G2acf59dFAAAAAAAAAAA (Ryan is the best!)

TAKEN STRAIGHT FROM MY FB NOTES