How to create red blood cells using powerpoint

Red blood cells created using powerpoint/word

Yes, creating 3D figures with something as simple as powerpoint is possible :) though it's no walk in the park I can tell you that :P

Anyway, I was trying to create a figure for my thesis and I thought... why not make it 3D? So yeah, took me around 30 mins to finally come up with a 'red blood cell'-like picture lol :P

Okay, well, you're here not to listen to me rant. So here goes! Hope you can keep up :) I'll add in screenshots later when I have the time.

1. Draw an oval - can be any size, you can resize it later. However, size should be 2cm or less for this to work.

2. Remove its outline

3. Choose from one of the preset effects provided - Intense effect, red accent 2

4. Shape effects -> preset -> choose the one at the bottom right

5. Shape effects -> 3D rotation -> perspective relaxed moderately 

6. Shape effects -> bevel -> hard edge

7. Format shape -> 3D-Format -> Depth -> 3pt

8. Shadow -> Inside centre (or you can just remove it, no visible effect after I've added it lol)

9. For more variety -> try rotating at the green dot point or rotating by flipping it 

Also, I have a related Fiverr gig up on my Fiverr account whereby when you buy my gig, I'll create cool 3D diagrams (scientific ones mainly) for your thesis, reference books, conference/journal/research/review papers and others. We can negotiate on how many diagrams I'll make for you for $5. :) So hop over there and check out my gig :) If you're interested in any of my other gigs, do hit me up as well. 

Story ideas and writing

I've been a great fan of writing since I was young. I can still remember my first 'book' that I've written based on a nightmare that I had when I was around Standard 4/5. It took me 2 years to finish it - it's not extensively long since it's sort-of a children's horror story - but then I kinda lost the manuscript lol. Anyway, from what I can recall, that story isn't very well written or developed :P 

Since then, I've been writing essays more often (schoolwork lol! but I do get overboard by submitting a 5-page-long guided essay which had taken me just hours to write. Ahah, good old times :)) and when I hit university level, I gravitated towards poems (not that I fancy myself a poet, it's just faster to write lol - coz it's shorter) and short stories. However, I've been saving those ideas for longer stories... saving but never writing lol. Maybe coz I felt that none of them will ever see the light of day and I'm also kinda afraid that like some of my 'projects', I'll get disgusted/ bored by it when I'm half-way through with it. Not to mention, currently, I'm juggling more than I can handle... writing will just have to wait.....

Anyway, to find out why I was suddenly very interested in writing about well... 'writing', go check out: http://tunkuhalim.wordpress.com/2007/04/18/malaysian-writers-are-so-lucky/

I hope one day I will be one of those 'lucky ones' :)

Things Only People Who Work With Kids Will Understand

I came across this article while searching for something else and I was like, 'wow, this resonates with me so much that I simply must put it on my blog'. So, here am I and here it is :) Enjoy!

Things Only People Who Work With Kids Will Understand

1. Get the purell ready because germs, germs, germs, they’re EVERYWHERE! Children are like little Petri dishes!

This is so true! There was this one time when a very naughty girl, who was just told off by me, smeared her mucus (she has running nose) on the cover of her exercise book.... ewwwwwwwwwww!

2. There is no way in hell that you’ll ever be able to give instructions just once.

Yes, never in my life do I have to repeat myself so many times. It's not that they didn't hear you, they just.... well... didn't listen! Hence, sometimes I get sore throats when I go back home..

3. Snack time should be called “Let’s get crackers on the floor and step on them!”

Letting kids have snacks during tuition and you'll get food on the floor. Definitely, and who is going to pick those up? Not them, not even after you're told them off multiple times. At the end of the class, YOU are the 'aunty cleaner' that have to clean up after the kids... But I dare say I've been skipping doing these sort of stuff :P

4. If you expect children to get in a straight line EVER you’re a damn fool.

I've never tried and now that I've read this, I will never try lol....

5. People who say psychiatrists are over diagnosing ADHD obviously haven’t spent more than 5 minutes in a classroom.

Fcking ADHD, hyperactive maniacs they all are. Seriously, I hate kids...

6. Peanut butter is a hazardous substance.

Let's swap that with pencils, whiteboard dusters, rulers, practically ever fcking thing in the classroom. And you may find yourself marveling at the sort of pointy objects that parents allowed their children to put into their pencil cases and bring to class.

7. You have to find creative new ways to say “no.”

My personal favourite, "see first lah". Even kids complain to me that I always say that.

8. You know all the names of the kids with behavioral problems.

Yes. A great big YES. You NEED to know their names so you can report them to the principle of the tuition centre/ school lol and ofc, to yell at them to shut the f up and sit the f down

9. You’re often treated like you’re a babysitter rather than an educator.

F right I do. Parents actually send their kids 30 mins earlier to class and then dare to complain to the principle that 'why the teacher isn't here yet?' WTF! You think I stay there ar? You just wanted to use tuition classes as babysitting centres mah.... And there will be parents who will ask me to remind their kids to drink more water and eat their food and such stuff. I can do that, but gawd.... I feel like I'm working in a nursery or something

10. You’re used to people asking “Why would you do something that pays so little?”

I often ask myself that question and I ended up slamming my head against the wall, so don't. Just don't.

11. If you come home without markers all over your hands it’s been a good day.

Lol, this is practically an impossible task. No way. Even the simplest word (words that kids younger then them know how to write lol), they can ask you to write it for them cos they don't know (and they actually don't) and of course, your hands will get all dirty and stuff... but this is not exactly something that concerns me a lot. To put it simply, I don't mind having dirty hands, but it's really frustrating for kids to keep asking me to write for them just so they can mindlessly copy.

12. There must be a magician in school because pencils are constantly disappearing.

The stationary that has performed the most disappearing act is not pencils, it's erasers! I will definitely hear at least 5 times in a day, 'Teacheeeeerrrrrrrrrr, my eraser is missing!' or 'Teacheeeeeerrrrrrrrr, I can't find my XX'. Rulers, pencils, books (that are 'missing' so they don't have to do any work, will suddenly turned up in their bags), colour pencils and what-nots.

13. Coloring in the lines is overrated.

Colouring ANYTHING properly is overrated. Enough said.

14. You know you get paid a lot less that your peers but at the end of the day you’d never choose another career path because it’s so rewarding.

Not really. The only class that I actually feel rewarded is the Form 1 science class, but then that class took me the most time to prepare for. In the last class, I taught them 'Elements' (for 1 hr and 30 mins) that had taken me 3 hours+ to prepare for.

15. Getting a shy kid to come out of his or her shell is the best feeling in the world.

Not when the shy kid suddenly became as evil and as monstrous as the devil. 

16. You bought 75% of the supplies in your classroom yourself and you know there’s no way in hell you’re getting reimbursed.

Every fcking photostated extra exercise, every revision questions that I've ever printed from them, I'll never get back my money... probably worth more than RM20 now... and the worst part? Them kids never appreciate anything. Guess I'm just reaching for the impossible, right?

17. The job never just ends at 3pm.

My tuition class on Saturday ends at around 6:30pm but then once I've eaten and bathed, I'll be busy working on the stuff for tomorrow's class. Heck, every during weekdays, I'll be like busy creating questions for them... WTF. I believe this is a new level of employee exploitation.

18. When they make little things and presents for you your heart melts.

Well, so far, none. Um, except that one time I let them have fun with MY marker to draw stuff on the whiteboard. Instead, they are pestering me FOR GIFTS everyday.......

Update: well, the kids do give me impromptu cards for teacher's day which were pretty nice, and there's this kid who gave me a drawing of an odd-looking goat because I let her have some time off and do some drawing+colouring

19. Sometimes you have to throw all lesson plans out the window and just improvise, and that’s okay.

Yup, just like last weekend. I forgotten to bring my essay book to class and that I've placed my essay answer script (that I've written myself, fcking tuition centres) in it. So, I improvised and wrote a whole new essay from scratch lol.... within like 15 mins... record time! Especially when the essay is in Chinese (one of my weaker written languages lol).

20. You know what you’re doing isn’t just a job it’s a calling.

Hmm, not really, but I do agree that it isn't A job but it is MULTIPLE jobs. But ofc, you get paid for one job and the pay is as crappy as you can ever imagine (not as crappy as working part-time as a salesgirl lol... that's even worse).

Also, I would like to add a number 21. You'll be spending quite some time of yours stapling/taping kids exercise books that has fallen apart.

Well, these are my thoughts and experiences in dealing with kids. I guess it does depend on which kind of kids you have to deal with. Unfortunately, my tuition centre seem to be a magnet for all the naughty, thick-skulled kids. Sigh. Kids, I really hate em.

Source: http://postgraduategirlproblems.com/

An Improved Introduction to Manglish/Singlish or whatever you call it

The link to my previous blog post on this topic: Singlish and Malaysian Chinese's Manglish

Another somewhat-related topic: the different kinds of Yes in Malaysia

(Adfly warning - It won't let your computer get "cancer" a.k.a. viruses, you know. Just click the Skip Ad button on the top right corner of the page after the countdown reached 0)

Uhm, so.... I've been meaning to write this since last year.... LOL.... and well, now I've finally come to this. Actually, I don't even think this blog post is ever going to see the light of day within this month. It has been and will be sitting in my Drafts section, gathering enough internet dust and cobwebs so that the next time I edit this post, I would probably suffocate from breathing in all those virtual dust.

Do note that a lot of these words have origins in various mandarin dialects or from bahasa melayu or both, so if you're fluent in either one of those, you can be fluent in manglish/singlish fairly quickly. Aside from the words mentioned in the link from my previous blog post, these are some new words that you can learn about. :) I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed compiling this :) 

Oh and for those that have internet memes, I can add them in as well.... but later xD

(In no order whatsoever :P)

1. Kanasai (or KNN)

A rather rude word for cursing.

Example: 

a) - I won't be teaching you how to use a curse word, heh :P -

2. Ah-bo-den/ Ah-bu-den/ any slight variations of this

Literally meaning 'If not, then?'. Usually used in situations when the answer to a question is obvious. It is said in the sort of tone as someone who is speaking while rolling his/her eyes. The 'den' part should be dragged for effect.

Example: 

a) Seeing someone gearing up for a jog, "Eh, you're going jogging ar?"

"Ah-bo-den....."

b) "Wah, you finished already ar? So fast one...."

"Ah-bo-den.... Today's the deadline already mah..."

"WHAT?! Today's the deadline?!?!"

3. Beh tahan/ Cannot tahan/ any slight variations of this

Literally meaning 'Cannot stand *someone*'. The word 'Beh' is Hokkien for 'cannot' while the word 'Tahan' means 'withstand/ stand'. Usually used when you cannot stand someone's attitude or someone in general.

Example:

a) "I really beh tahan his attitude lah. Always want to win one~"

[I really cannot stand his attitude. He always wants to win.]

b) "I beh tahan this teacher nia... He kept giving us so many homework everyday."

4. Jiak sai

The Hokkien equivalent of 'eat shit'. Sometimes can mean literally as 'eat shit' or 'go to hell', or sometimes it can mean that someone is in deep trouble.

Example:

a) "This time I jiak sai liao lah. Tomorrow is the deadline and I haven't even started!"

[This time I'm in some really deep trouble. Tomorrow is the deadline and I haven't even started!]

b) "Wah, you think you more pro than me? You can go jiak sai lah."

[Wah, do you think you're better than me (in gaming, usually)? You can go to hell.]

5. Can/want die lah (or 'die liao lah')/ any slight variations of this

Usually used when in desperation. Having the feeling of wanting to die or almost dying due to overwhelming work.

Example:

a) "I can go die liao lah. So many work I haven't do...."

[I feel like I can die from the amount of work that I have yet to do.]

b) "Wah, give me so many work? Can die lah..../ Can die wey...."

[Wah, you're giving me so much work? I feel like I can die from the overwhelming work.]

6. On! or Jom! (In Bahasa Melayu)

Means what it says. Usually used when you're agreeing to a meet-up arranged by someone.

Example: 

a) "Eh, bro, you want to go with us to the gym tomorrow?"

"On!!!"

b) "We're going to prank Mr Lim tomorrow. You want to join us?"

"On!"

7. Ho jiak/ Ho chiak/ any slight variations of this

Literally means 'Good/nice tasty'. The Hokkien word for 'very tasty'. Usually used for describing delicious food served at a local hawker centre/food court/ any eatery.

Example: 

a) "Is this ais kacang nice?"

"Ho chiak!"

8. Okay bo?/ Lu okay bo?/ any slight variations of this

Usually used to show concern. Means 'are you okay (injured/feeling down) or not?'.

Example: 

a) Seeing you trip over something and fell. "Lu okay bo?"

b) Seeing you cry. "You okay bo?"

9. Chiu~ or Cheh~

A sound made usually when dismissing something someone said. The word can be dragged for more effect.

Example: 

a) "I've gotten that new battle pet in WoW!" 

"Cheh....... I've gotten it last week already lor."

10. Ai-yo

Similar to aiya.

11. Alamak!

Pretty much means 'Darn it!'. Usually accompanied by the sound of a palm smacking the forehead or the action of smacking a hand to the forehead.

Example: 

a) "You did remember to bring that thing I've told you to?"

"Alamak!!"

12. 'You ask me, I ask who?'

A Chinese idiom literally translated into English. It generally means 'I cannot give you the answer to your question. Who do you think I am? A know-it-all?' (in, obviously, a sarcastic way)

Example: 

a) "Eh, do you know whether Ah Meng and Gigi is back together or not?"

"You ask me, I ask who leh?"

b) "Bro, you know the formula for calculating the area of a triangle or not?"

Brother is busy with something and irritably replies "You ask me, I ask who? Go google it lah!"

13. See how lah

The very neutral way of not deciding what to do yet. It means 'I have not yet decided. It'll depend on what will happen next. We'll just have to wait and see.'. You can drag the 'lah' for effect.

Example: 

a) On Monday, "Bro, want to go bowling or not this Saturday?"

"See how lah."

On Tuesday, "Eh, bro, you want to go bowling or not one ar?"

"See how lah."

On Thursday, "Wei, you confirm going to bowling or not ar?"

"See how lah."

On Friday night, "Sht lah, bro. You're going or not?"

"See how lah."

"See how lah! See how lah! Wei, bro .... don't want to go mah say don' t want to go lor!!"

[See how lah! See how lah! Wei, bro, if you really don't want to go then just say you don't want to go.]

14. Mai/ Don't siao siao

Literally means 'don't be crazy'. 'Siao' is Hokkien for crazy. Usually used when someone have said  or done something totally ridiculous.

Example: 

a) "I've did it! I've just put a dead rat into Mrs Tan's drawer!"

"Wei, mai siao siao lah! She's one of the school's best discipline teacher. You'll get yourself caught."

b) "I will be a millionaire in this year!"

"Wei, mai siao siao lah. You are barely earning enough to make a living. Some more want to be a millionaire.... Go buy the lottery lah"

15. Bo bian/pian

The Hokkien equivalent for the phrase 'no choice'. Usually used when you've done something that you do not have (or think that you do not have) say/control over. 

Example: 

a) "Eh, why are you wearing a singlet to class?"

"Bo bian lor. All my clothes were damp from the sudden rain this morning."

b) "Why are you late?! I've been waiting for half an hour now!!"

"Bo bian. Traffic jam mah..." (In a nonchalant tone)

"Beng-beng know sure will traffic jam, why you don't start earlier?!"

16. Gin/gan-jiong

The Hokkien equivalent of the word 'Worried or nervous or heart-stopping'. Usually used when you're anxious over something or someone.

Example: 

a) "I'm going on my first date with that girl from my class. Wish me luck! Super gan-jiong nia!"

b) "Woah! Luckily you managed to break (stop the car) in time. Nearly gave me a heart attack. Gan-jiong ka~ bua xi."

[ka~ - means 'until'; bua - means 'half'; xi - means 'dead']

17. Chop/chup

Somewhat means 'Time out!'. A way to interrupt someone when he/she is talking. It can also be used to try to break up a fight. It may be considered rude by many people, attempt this at your own peril. You can say it repeatedly for more effect.

Example: 

a) "...and she's like 'Why did you not tell me that?' but I was going to tell her. It's just that...."

"Chup! Let's just order our food first, ok?"

b) "Chup, chup chup, chup, chup!!!! Let's not fight over this small matter, okay?" (The third party in a fight will usually say this.)

18. Wah, pro liao lor/ any slight variations of this

To compliment someone on their accomplishment - whether it is a small accomplishment, like managing to do a hard, but small task or a bigger accomplishment, like winning a competition. However, this is generally used in the context of gaming. Can be spoken in a sarcastic tone.

Example: 

a) Someone managed to solve a particularly hard math problem. "Wah, pro liao lor. Come teach me?"

b) "Lol, you guys gang bang me? Wah, pro liao lah you all? Wait till I respawn...... (*a hanging threat*)"

19. Kok-tao

Literally means 'Knock head'. Originated from the Hokkien dialect. Usually used in situations where you'll be asking yourself (usually in exasperation) 'Why did I do/say that?'. It can also be used when someone else did or said something particularly stupid. Can also be used in desperation. It can be accompanied by the action of exasperatingly knocking someone's or your head on anything solid.

Example: 

a) Your friend just messed up his pickup line for a cute girl he had his eyes on for a long time. 

"Wei, you can go kok-tao liao lah. Like that also can mess up!"

b) "Exams are just a few days away! I feel like I wanna kok-tao liao lah."

20. Long-piak

Has a meaning that is similar to 'Kok-tao', but this is more extreme. This literally means 'slamming *oneself* into a wall' or 'Running into a wall' in Hokkien. So, this phrase may somewhat imply suicidal tendency. 

Example: 

a) "I want to long-piak already lah! My boss is breathing down my neck for that project progress report and I haven't started on it yet! And not to forget that other project...."

21. Du-lan

Means 'very annoyed/frustrated'. Can be used to explain feelings someone have towards someone else's actions, attitude or general being, or something that is bothering them a lot. 

Example: 

a) "I'm very du-lan with her and her constant nagging. Can't I ever get a moment of rest?"

b) "I think that dog du-lan me already after being constantly tempted by doggy treats but not actually giving it any (extra ones)."

c) "I du lan that program already lah. It kept popping up errors and I can't get my work done!"

22. Pek-chek

A more extreme version of 'du-lan'. May be accompanied by the feeling of wanting to wring someone's neck or something's virtual neck.

Example:  *replace all the 'du-lan' examples with 'pek-chek'*

23. Xia sui

Means 'lose face'. You can lose your own face or your friend's face (by letting him/her down).

Example: 

a) "I'm a guy and I have to wear this tutu outfit for my group's presentation. Xia sui nia..."

b) Spoken to you by a friend, "Wei, I train you so long already and you still lose to that bastard? Xia sui me nia."

24. Gostan

Has no origins as far as I can tell. The word just popped up out of nowhere lol. It means 'reversing a car' or 'putting a car in reverse'. Usually, when you use the word 'gostan', it is automatically understood that you're referring to a car. However, this word can also be used casually for people as well, but this type of usage is very rare.

Example: 

a) "Wei, don't stand there. I'm going to gostan (the car). Later, I langgar you, then you know..."

b) While teaching someone to dance, "Okay, you then shake your hips a bit, then gostan a few steps, then side step twice..."

25. Win liao lor

A famous internet meme quote, this phrase is usually used to sarcastically acknowledge someone's 'victory'/ praise someone (usually) over some petty matter that no one cares about.

Example: 

a) "Yes! I've finished collecting my Digimon stickers!"

"Wah, win liao lor.." Without really paying any attention to him/her/while still doing your own thing.

26. ...one~

It is usually added to the end of sentences to imply certainty (Giving the sentence a bit of 'don't worry' sort-of feeling). Must be dragged for the desired effect. The usage of this word is rather hard to explain lol. Perhaps, I'll let the examples do all the talking.

Example: 

a) "You say one~ ah?" [You give your word, yes?]

b) "This machine is very awesome one~ It can cook anything for you!" [This machine is, for sure, very awesome. It can cook anything for you!]

c) "I beh tahan him nia. Always want to win one~" [I cannot stand him at all. He always wants to win.] 

-- Analysis: In this case, the 'one~' conveys the same meaning as the word 'always'. So, by having two words of the same meaning, it provides double power to the meaning 'always'.

27. Siao eh...

Literally means 'the person who is crazy'. It is usually used as a way of somewhat affectionately calling someone that you are very close with. It means pretty much like the word 'homie' in the West. However, this may be considered rude by most people.

Example: 

a) "Eh, siao eh, want to go play laser tag later?"

28. Beng-beng/Meng-meng

Means 'I could have sweared that'. For things that you are very sure of but somehow, it's no longer true/there.

Example: 

a) "I beng-beng saw your wallet right over here. Now, it's gone!"

b) "You beng-beng said you want to belanja [treat] us, but now you want us to pay you back? WTF!"

29. Chui xi

Literally means 'finding death'. This can be used to describe people who have a death wish or people that you think have a death wish.

Example: 

a) "Wah, look at that car speeding like hell.... the driver really must be chui xi one ah."

and not forgetting the very famous...

30. Don't play play :)

A famous quote from Phua Chu Kang. It means 'don't do stupid stuff'. Is similar in meaning with 'mai siao siao' albeit a less extreme version. 

Example: *You can replace the examples for 'mai siao siao' with 'don't play play'*

31. Jit bai diou ho/hor seh liao
Literally means "This time I'm/we're/you're/... done!" or "This time I'm/we're/you're/... completely fcked up!". It means someone has messed up so bad that they're so going to get it (the consequence) later on.

Example:
a) "Fck, I haven't finished Ms Lee's homework yet."
"Lu (you) jit bai diou hor seh liao lah! Don't forget that Ms Lee's the most feared discipline teacher in our school."

For more, stay tuned! I'll see what else I can come up with :)

The different kinds of Yes in Malaysia

I thought of something like this some time ago but unfortunately, 1. I'm not that good an artist and 2. I kinda forgot about it after awhile lol :P

Anyway, for you people who are or will be visiting Malaysia. This is a good guide to the different kinds of 'Yes' in Malaysia.

Credits to the original artist. Awesome job depicting this!


UPDATE: Apparently the image link's broken... somehow. Sorry! I'll see if I can find the image again and link it right up.

Sleep well, Tiger of Jelutong

Well, Karpal Singh, a prominent lawyer/politician has passed away due to a car accident a few days ago. This incident does reminds me of the mortality of humans, no matter how awesome you are, but that's a story for another day. 

The name 'Karpal Singh' has been spoken rather frequently while I was growing up. From his successful court battles to standing up for injustices no matter the situation and to his political antics, he never cease to be himself - to be a man of principle.

I've never known him myself, of course, but I've read plenty about him. He strikes me as a voice of reason in the Malaysian political arena. He would even go against members of his own political party if he thinks and believes that those party members are committing acts of injustice against the people. His firm stance as the upholder of justice has pitted him against various opponents - from the large corporations seeking to oppress news of their wrongdoings to the public to one of the highest ranked persons in the whole country - the sultan (king) - but, needless to say, he had won in some of his bids for justice and he had lost some. That's the normal give-and-take cycle of life.

It's our country's huge loss to have lost someone like him. Let today be a day of mourning and remembering and let tomorrow be the day each of us takes up a part of his work in this life and to learn from him - that is to fight injustice and be people of principles. That is, in my humble opinion, the best way of remembering someone.  

For more articles like this, you can check out some of the written articles by reporters of The Star.

Language is Music

I just thought that this is too awesome to not be shared :) That's why I love languages. You are free to mould it into sentences that can describe your thoughts... it practically gives life to your ideas, your aspirations, your feelings.... 

I'm not sure who originally published this - the source stated in the pic is too blur to decipher. Anyway, credits to whoever who produced this.

Selection and application of ssDNA aptamers to detect active TB from sputum samples - A paper presentation

This is the last one, I promise! :) This is one of the worse kind of of papers that I've read. It doesn't have anything conclusive (the results, I mean), plenty of speculations, lots of 'nonsense' trying to muddle your mind while you're reading.....

But anyway, my supervisor wanted that paper presented and what he wants... he gets. (like a spoiled brat lol...... OWW! That slap to my face hurts! Where did it come from?!!) 

Actually, I haven't presented this yet... it's so bad that I'm not proud of being able to present it lol....

Anyway, there are some gist in it that you might find interesting... like how NOT to write your future papers.. :P

Selection and application of ssDNA aptamers to detect active TB from sputum samples from Saw Yi

Bonus! I might even put up the intro of my project here AFTER I've completed my thesis :P Better be safe than sorry right? Hehehe

P/S: If you want my slides, just ask... seriously, don't just go and try to rip off my powerpoint slides lol.

From Ugly Duckling to a Swan: Unexpected Identification of an Anti-Annexin A2 Aptamer - A paper presentation

And one more :) Enjoy!

One of the best written paper that I've read in ages. Very orderly and easily understandable. Doesn't really seem to hide anything away from the reader or try to muddle some things up. An absolutely excellent piece!

From Ugly Duckling to Swan: Unexpected Identification from Cell-SELEX from Saw Yi

P/S: If you want my slides, just ask... seriously, don't just go and try to rip off my powerpoint slides lol.

Aptamer-Mediated siRNA Delivery - a paper presentation

So, I've rediscovered Slideshare and have decided to share this paper presentation of mine :) Plus, it's something like a sneak peek into what my postgrad is all about... generally :)

Aptamer Mediated siRNA Delivery from Saw Yi

And uh, for the video part, I just showed the audience the video on siRNA action within the cell produced by Nature. You can probably find it on YouTube (I think that's where I've gotten it.)

If you want the paper to read (it's NOT my paper though, I'm just presenting it) and that it's not free for your institute, feel free to contact me (by commenting below) and we'll work something out :)


P/S: If you want my slides, just ask... seriously, don't just go and try to rip off my powerpoint slides lol. 

Question banks

So, yeah, I've realised that I've created so many question papers over the short few months I've been teaching tuition and I guess I could start my own question bank where I upload all those questions for people to do... at a price of course :P

Anyway, I think I'll just open a new blog for this. Hopefully, it'll work :)

Okay, that's it. Just a short blog post lol :P Ciao!

Wasting my life away

Well, this article hits most things spot on. Do take a look if you've got the time: http://adf.ly/qixqc

1. You spend too much time doing things you shouldn’t be doing. - TRUE I suppose lol...

I'm not sure whether that I'm spending a few hours a day gaming and surfing the net or facebooking is such a bad thing. I often find that I do not have enough time and I feel absolutely depressed by it and then I'll try to carve time out for my personal stuff (like my WoW - 1hr+-2hrs, facebooking - reading about interesting stuff like the article above - 1hr+-2hrs, blogging - 1hr sometimes, reading - sometimes, watching documentaries - science ones, sometimes). Heck, I used to have time to watch TV series and now I practically no longer watch ANY TV series. I don't even watch the TV forgawdsake. Sigh.

2. You find yourself complaining a lot. - TRUE

Yes, I do. From the very annoying and unruly kids at my tuition classes to having to 'waste time' doing stuff for my employers/un-appreciative kids at the tuition centre for NO whatsoever pay, from the overwhelming workload and demands at the lab (I think they kinda expect that I devote 24 hrs per day for my lab related work since I'm supposedly a 'full-time' student LOL WTF!) to the ridiculous 6-MONTH-LONG delays for my MAIN project, from the online part-time employer of mine who needed me to keep reminding him to pay me EVERY MONTH (and what's better is that after reminding, he'll delay some more. Unfortunately for him, I'm resigning right after I get my March salary. It's getting ridiculous...) I seriously friggin HATE DELAYS. And there I was wondering why am I putting myself through all this when I could have just taken a fcking job (ANY fcking job, no matter how fcking low-paying it is) and work for only 8 hrs a day (excluding OTs... which actually pays as well) and I get the rest of the day and weekends off to spend with my family. Yes, so there. I'm just a bundle of negativity lol.

3. You don't feed your mind. - FALSE

Oh, this one's so wrong. I've watched scientific documentaries, read scientific articles on latest scientific advancements, and I'm currently trying to learn multiple foreign languages (plus a Morse code) at once LOL. Yeah, well, I'm gonna take those real slow now :)

4. You have plenty of negative self-talk. - TRUE, I suppose

I'm, by nature, a strong self-critic (as, I suppose, you can see from the way I often write about myself :P). I beat myself down constantly but ofc, I do give myself compliments from time to time. However, I do often say that I'm just too exhausted... too burned out to change anything about my life at the moment, which might just be true (refer to 11.). I need to solve that problem first!

5. You feel uninspired. - damn TRUE

I used to have plenty of enthusiasm and passion for science. I wanted to help people, to make the world better, but what I've seen in so-called 'research labs' are plenty of politics, money-grabbing and stealing (from grants), petty squabbles, questionable results (whereby some people can just ignore some points, outer points that do not fit with their 'trend'), egoistic supervisors, illogical, fake and unreasonable people, and plenty of failed experiments. Although I do not mind failing (as it is a part of getting success, right?), but failing repeatedly when I've already tried so hard and so long (and with consulting with those 'experienced' seniors) is terribly discouraging. Plus, I'm a strong self-critic... so yeah, it's not very good to my mental heath or state of mind in any way. Or maybe this is only at my lab and I had that misfortune to experience this. I've lost of passion for doing lab work, but my passion for science in general still burns (hence, I still read up on scientific advancements)

6. You don't plan for your future - Maybe TRUE or NOT

I'm not sure how detailed you need to plan for your future coz from what I know, detailed plans are meant to not-go-according-to-plan. Deviations/events/things will happen... definitely. New unexpected opportunities may crop up too. However, my current plan is to get the hell out of my lab (graduate THIS YEAR) and then find a nice, comfy job that is slightly challenging (and then I'll swap jobs when I needed more challenge). Start saving plenty of money for my retirement, for my parents' sure-to-come medical costs, for my own sure-to-come medical costs (I'll either get dementia since I'm very forgetful even I'm just 24 yrs old or arthritis since my knees hurt sometimes when I climb stairs and stuff - doctors told me to ignore those pain LOL since I'm still 'young'), for future kids' education fund (currently very unlikely. Since working at the tuition centre, I have a major dislike for little kids), for my OWN car and house etc etc

7. You spend too much time with people who don’t contribute to your growth. - hmm, not sure.

IMHO, I hardly spend any time with any other people at all. I'm not really sociable, but I'm not really anti-social as well (I hope). I just don't like talking to people that I dislike or that I don't know well. The only few people that I frequently spend time with are my BF, my co-supervisor, my (guy) senior, my parents and uh various other people. I do find that my BF has a chronic (refer to 1) attitude, but then each has their own ways of coping with stress.

8. You’re addicted to your phone. - definitely FALSE

Nope. Phones or smartphones IMHO are good for 1. SMS-ing, 2. calling people and for people without an alarm clock, 3. alarm clock or clock (if you don't have a watch). Sometimes, you might use it for jotting notes on the go or setting reminders on your calendar. An occasional game of Freecell while doing big business (hehe ;)) is fine as well.

9. You spend money on things that don’t matter. - FALSE

Unless food doesn't matter or petrol or books, then this is definitely false for me. I'm not a very fashion-chasing person and if I can get something for free (especially considering that I'm currently kinda tight on money), I will get it for free. 

10. You don’t get enough sleep. - TRUE enough sometimes

Since I'm kinda tight for time as well as money, I find myself sleeping at 1-2am usually (which totally broke my new year resolution LOL). However, I have a rule that I have to get at least 6 hrs or more sleep per day so that I'm awake enough to be able to drive long-distances (1 hr highway trips) to my lab and back.

11. You’re not taking care of your body. - TRUE

I believe this is absolutely true. It's not because I skip meals (although I do, sometimes); it's not that I do not usually eat a balanced diet (does having McD two times per week count? :P); it's probably because 1. I hardly ever eat fruits nowadays (Very true) and 2. I practically don't exercise (I do stand/walk around for prolong periods of time during tuition classes and when I'm in the lab though). Hence, I find myself easily sick from the flu to bloating. I really gotta change this... (have been saying this since last month :()

12. You don’t leave your comfort zone. - TRUE?

I'm not sure I even have a comfort zone yet... hmm, maybe it's that I'm a bit clingy to my family. I like being at home and I'm not in a hurry to move out of here (since 1. I'm short on money and 2. the purpose of doing a masters in Penang in the first place is because I wanted to spend more time with my parents - before heading off to Singapore or something to work). 

13. You’re living a life you don’t like. - YES, somewhat.

At the moment, I daresay, I don't like many aspects of my life. And that article is right when it says I have to change my thinking first... more like I should overcome my fear/ my chronic worrying syndrome... then I can slowly start changing my life. I would like to start with taking good care of myself and, then, I'll start be more active in keeping in touch with friends and with my grandma (I hardly went to her house since I started working weekends. I used to go to market with her and my parents for breakfast and some shopping). 

However, to focus on the good stuff, I realised that I like teaching science to Form 1 kids (although my Bahasa suck balls lol. Pardon the vulgarity, I can't help it :P). I realised that I like learning new languages. I realised that I like doing these sort of self-reflection blog posts to lay out what I'm thinking or feeling as clearly as possible so that I can try and make good decisions from it. I like being able to spend time with my BF at the cinemas or testing out new food :) I like to read or watch about scientific stuff (new or old, but mainly biology related ones since I'm not really into physics... except astronomy hehe :P). I like drawing diagrams or figures to explain a scientific concept. I like creating creative and original questions for various subjects of various standards or forms (why nobody is paying me to create exam papers or compile questions for reference books? T.T). There are more to this ofc, but these are the more recent ones.

So, that's it I suppose. This is going to be a very hectic week, so don't expect plenty of posts like this (that needed plenty of thinking ahaha) unless I'm just (finally) publishing one of my drafts. Cya! Till next Sunday - the only day that I actually have enough time to self-reflect and not to be rushing here and there and everywhere.

Turbulence

Some of the stuff that I've written when I was in severe depression due to my f-ing masters project that seemed to be delayed over and over and over again (up to more than half a year now) and with no prospect of getting graduated.... :\ Actually, by typing those words, I actually cringed in real life lol. How sad is that?

Honestly speaking, I still think the words that I've typed rings true - it's just that I'm kinda numb to the depressing parts and decided to be happier instead. :) 

There will be one day in your life that you will realise that this is not what you signed up for. That this is not what you want. Although you may not know exactly what you want, but deep down, you know this is not what you want. Yet something within you is holding you back somehow, preventing you from leaving. Then the battle ensues within you, forever raging, never forgiving. This is will go on until you do something about it. Either you grit your teeth and swim through the muck you've landed in or you try to break free no matter the consequences. This may be a sign of depression or this may be a sign of a 'mid-life' crisis. No matter what, you know that this is real enough and that it's making you a wreck of nerves. - Me

Understanding - as opposed to feeling - was the root of the problem. Although you very much understand that having an emotional breakdown at this time is not wise, your feelings are surging, unrelenting... they are breaking the barriers that you've constructed to keep them in. It is just too much. - Me

This is my reaction to everything I feel. - Weightless, All Time Low.

All that I ever wanted in life is to have a stable and fulfilling job with sufficient income and to be happy. I'm happy when I'm at home with my parents, with my books and laptop, with my BF. I used to think that by studying more, I can get to the job part easier and faster. I was so wrong. Instead now I'm here, stuck with no income, no stable job, no bright future/job prospect, in addition to being really unhappy every time I went to the lab. Is this worth the suffering in order to get that f-ing certificate? I guess I already knew the answer to that question. Then, why am I still here? - Me

Life is like the rapids. Most of us are just hanging on for dear life onto anything that can even remotely hold us. There may be selfish people who are dragging the person hanging in front of them away into the rapids in order for them to snatch their spot - a spot that may seem better at that time. Some of us who are stronger are able to dig their feet into the riverbed and stand stolidly against the rushing waters. Some are even able to, against all odds, swim against the surging currents to reach the safer and calmer waters. And then there are people who are using the other people as stepping stones to reach dry land and perhaps will even stand there and laugh at the other people who are still stuck in the turbulent currents of life. - Me

There is a reason why I don't talk that much... especially to people that I don't like, that I fear, that I don't know. I prefer to communicate via written words. Even if I have an urge to communicate, I'd say 99% of the time, it's through writing and about 60% of it will end up here on my blog (either as a published post or as a draft lol). - Me

Karma vs conscience

So, I had a fight with my BF regarding this matter LOL....

Anyway, now that I had time to think of it. I thought I could write a more coherent explanation of why I believe in Karma and that why conscience is practically linked to karma. P/S: Just so you know, my BF doesn't believe in karma.

So, I'll start off my defining my understanding of the word 'karma' (Aveyn's version lol). Karma is where the fear of retribution, whether directly or indirectly, will abhor someone from doing things that are considered as bad by the society or by the human race in general. In my very personal and humble opinion, this sort of karma is applied practically everywhere - from law enforcement (not that they work as well :P Not 100% definitely, but a solid 80% or above is pretty good) to teaching your child/children at home/school. 

For example right.... you don't go out robbing people (well, not the normal sort of people anyway) because you fear retribution in form of 'justice' dealed by the enforcement agencies (the court, the police etc). However, this is just an example, retribution may come in may ways (some that may seem totally unrelated to your 'sins' or 'vices' or 'bad stuff that you do' [Lying is a prime example actually. One day, you'll get caught up in your web of lies and then, let's just see how you fall]) but since I do not really believe in a god/ gods, these retributions are not meted out by this entity/entities. It's life itself that will mete out the punishments - the people and environment included. 

Conscience, on the other hand, refers to the clear understanding of good and bad that will abhor someone from doing the bad stuff and will encourage someone to do the good stuff. This conscience varies from person to person and it depends on the 'understanding' or lack thereof ('mock understanding' as I call it) of whether a thing is good or bad. Using the same example, you can also say that you don't go out robbing people because you KNOW that robbing people is a BAD thing to do but for some people, their reasoning may be robbing is not bad if you're robbing people who doesn't deserve their wealth in the first place (somewhat like a modern-day Robin Hood).

So, my reasoning is that you first learn about what things are BAD or what things are GOOD via 'karma'. Taking the same example, how do you know robbing people is bad? (This reminds me of the video of a mum trying to teach her little daughter to say 'no' to strangers :P) Anyway, when you started off, you would have absolutely no idea what is right or wrong, but as you grow older, your parents will teach you, the cartoons you watch will teach you and heck, even books will write that thieves and robbers are BAD people and that these BAD people will be caught by the GOOD people (the police in this case), so we should never ever do BAD things in order to not get caught. From there, you developed your so called conscience. You may feel that if you rob someone in the future, you will ever be able to face yourself or anyone you know (even though they may have no idea at all). By having a conscience, a sense of good or bad, you will get feelings of guilt. 

However, there's a catch here. Conscience does vary from people to people as aforementioned and furthermore, I find that it is not very accurate due to this 'grey areas' in morality. You can even try to twist words around in order to convince yourself that you are doing GOOD when actually you are doing BAD stuff. Plenty of examples where this comes in... where people (of power, especially) decided that 'for the good for their people', they have committed atrocities.

For karma, not matter whatever you've done... whether they are good or bad, there will be equal retribution (or in other words, whatever you do will end up to you). So, let's say if you do bad stuff, you'll get bad returns; if you do good, you'll get good returns; if you just 'live and let live' (be neutral), you'll get a little of both good and bad returns (or maybe you'll just float through life without any major mishaps and will just experience some of the normal parts of life - this do include getting sick and old btw). You may try to mask the bad into good, but your consciousness/subconsciousness will know and when retribution comes, you will suddenly know as well.  It may be immediate or it may only happen when you're on your death bed. Moreover, the retribution that you may get may not be public (so that everyone will know about it), so some people may say 'That person did plenty of bad stuff, but why are they living such a happy and comfortable life?'. Who knows? He/she may be suffering inside in order to pay the price of their actions. People that appear GOOD on the outside may have done huge BAD stuff on the inside/ in their past... There are ofc second chances, but you'll have to pay the price of your mistakes in the end, even though you may have already turned a new leaf. 

The thing is everyone's done mistakes/ BAD stuff, so everyone will have certain amounts of misfortunes (major ones/small ones) in their life in order to compensate for their BAD actions. But if BAD thoughts do not translate into BAD actions, then there are no retribution, because that person didn't act out on it. 

Accidental BAD actions are a bit tricky to reason - because 1. you did performed that BAD action and 2. you did not intentionally do that BAD action. I reckon it'll be something like doing a silly mistake in your exams. You knew the correct answer, but you did a silly mistake and lost your marks. Can you get back your marks? No, because you did made that mistake, no matter how unintentionally you did it.

But ofc, all these do not apply to clinically insane people, people with mental problems or people with a stunted sense of morality (this list may not be complete btw, just saying). Also, if you don't believe in these sort of stuff, these will definitely not apply to you as well (although well, if it does, you can just reason it away by using luck or the lack thereof :P). 

I do realise that trying to type this sort of stuff in the middle of the night with an awfully tired body and mind and with plenty of other work (tuition... sigh), my reasoning will definitely be flawed. I'll try to polish this by perhaps giving more examples or by explaining more stuff in-depth. Unless I'm convinced otherwise, I'll still believe in this sort of karma because well, it's really hard to disbelieve it when it is so all encompassing. 

After thinking about this for a bit, I realised that morality is a very weird thing lol. Anyway, to end this thing, I just wanna say that my karma is mainly based on the concept of 'What goes around, comes around'. Whatever you do will comes back to you - it may come in different, unrecognisable forms; it may even come back amplified by thousands of folds, but it WILL come back to you in the end.

And well, after saying all these, if anyone believes in my sort of karma, ofc they will be afraid. Heck, I've done plenty of bad things myself (minor ones, I think) and I know I will pay the price for them someday. I may not even be ready for them when they come (I doubt you can prepare for such a thing anyway), but by fearing bad retributions (karma), I'll strive to do as much good as I can in order to counterbalance the bad that I've done/will do (the exchange rate is unfortunately not 1:1, I believe). Sometimes, I'll just take the easy way out by doing something that can be considered as 'bad' lol. Anyway, and by getting a balance, I'm hoping to live my life as neutrally as possible since I know that it's really hard for me to try to tip the balance in the good direction lol. Especially when I have laziness as a trait that I'm too lazy to change... heh :P

Examples:

'Stuff' that are NOT caused by karma - Genetically caused problems are not part of karma. It's just genetics and is whatever your parents passed on to you. It is not getting part of your parents' karma transferred to you. Whatever problems you are born with is not karma's doing. Everyone started with a clean slate and you are responsible for your own slates. Once you have a sense of morality, the slate will start getting dirty/ will still remain clean (depending on how you act). Honestly, no one will have a totally clean slate by the end of life. If something bad happens to a lot of people in your area, it's probably not karma but it's more like a normal natural disaster lol. Also, I'm not saying ALL really bad illness that you get is caused by karma btw. It may be, but you may never know (even if you look deep inside you and see if you've done something really really bad in the past. Sometimes, you just don't know that you've done something bad).

Neutral returns/retributions - everything that life has to offer (both 'good' and 'bad' stuff, depending on your own personal definition of 'good' or 'bad' in this case). You will experience childhood (not matter how bad it is or how good it is, you'll still experience a 'childhood') and will grow as normal humans do. You will live your life as averagely as possible and end it as averagely as possible. This ofc means that you will experience sickness, old age, some natural disasters that you can recover from (nothing very major) etc, but nothing as devastating as a fire that destroyed your home, leaving you homeless for a very long time-kinda thing.

Bad retributions - Maybe, on your death bed, your only son who had inherited your billion-dollar company may tell you that he actually was not your son and that he is the offspring of a nemesis of yours when your wife had been unfaithful... (sounds like it's taken straight from a drama lol) but well, you get the idea. Stuff that is devastating FOR YOU, mainly. 

Good retributions/returns - getting an unexpected gift from or have reconnected with someone you've helped in the past, for example. You'll definitely know when you get this - you'll get this warm-fuzzy feeling in your heart. 

Owl City - Beautiful Times

As usual, any corrections are very much welcome! I love Lindsey's part in this song. The violin fits perfectly! :) and well, I've always loved Owl City's music so... yeah, perfect combo!

Lyrics:

The sparks soaring down
Through the pouring rain
And restoring life to the lighthouse
A slow motion wave
On the ocean stirs
My emotion up like a rain cloud

When did the sky turn black
And when will the light come back?

A cab driver turned to sky diver
Then to survivor
Dying to break down.
A blood brother, surrogate mother
Hugging each other
Crying their eyes out.

When did the sky turn black
And when will the light come back?

I'm estatic like a drug addict
Locked in the attic
Strung out and spellbound

I fought all through the night
Ohoh but I made it alive
The sun started to rise
Ohoh these are beautiful times
This fight of my life is so hard, so hard, so hard
But I'm gonna survive
Ohoh, these are beautiful times

A bad feeling burns through the ceiling
Leaving my healing heart with a new scar
A dead fire rose, and rose higher like
A vampire up from the graveyard

When did the sky turn black
And when will the light come back?

We all suffer but we recover
Just to discover life where we all are

I fought all through the night
Ohoh but I made it alive
The sun started to rise
Ohoh these are beautiful times
This fight of my life is so hard, so hard, so hard
But I'm gonna survive
Ohoh, these are beautiful times
This fight of my life is so hard, so hard, so hard
But I'm gonna survive
Ohoh, these are beautiful times

My heart's burning bad and it's turning black
But I'm learning how to be stronger
And sincerely, I love you dearly
Oh but I'm clearly destined to wonder

James Durbin - Live Right Now

Lyrics:

Go out swinging
All in or nothing
Believe in something...
Impossible

Burn out brighter
Dream in colour
Feel it, the fire
Heart and soul

These are the days When we all stop running
These are the days When we face what's coming
Take on today like there's no tomorrow
No tomorrow

Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
I wanna live right now, now, now, now
Yeahh

Kicking, screaming
Smiling, bleeding
Finally, feeling
Something real

Over-flustered
To the moment after
Chasing shadows
Endlessly

These are the days When we all stop running
These are the days When we face what's coming
Take on today like there's no tomorrow
No tomorrow

Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
I wanna live right now, now, now, now
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
(Now, now, now, now)
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
I wanna live right now, now, now, now
Yeahh

Ohhhhh

These are the days When we all stop running
These are the days When we face what's coming
Take on today like there's no tomorrow
No tomorrow
Don't wanna live for-ever.....

Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
I wanna live right now, now, now, now
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
(Now, now, now, now)
Don't wanna live for-ever, ever, ever
I wanna live right now, now, now, now
Yeahhh


P/S: I'll continue transcribing the lyrics for the rest of his songs tomorrow. It's kinda late over here :P Nightz!

James Durbin - Forget It

As usual, any corrections are very much welcome :) And asterisks show the places where I'm not very sure of. Enjoy!

Lyrics:

Waking up just to feel comatose
Walking alone along an endless road
Sometimes the meanings I misunderstood
Always doing the opposite of what you should

Everyday gets you further from the truth
It's not what you give, it's what you lose
The world turn your seat like crazy
Until all you feel is one shade of grey
But can you?
Can you?

Just forget it, forget it
Let it go and watch it burn
Forget it, forget it
And buried it with all that hurts
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?

Forget it, forget it
And wipe the tears from your eyes
Forget it, forget it
Learn to live before you die
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?
(How long have you waited?)

Life's too short to just waste away
Praying that fortune always comes your way
*There's no time to run around to push it down*
Coz everything that matters is my here and now
But will you?
Will you?

Just forget it, forget it
Let it go and watch it burn
Forget it, forget it
And buried it with all that hurts
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?

Forget it, forget it
And wipe the tears from your eyes
Forget it, forget it
Learn to live before you die
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?

And I know what it seems
It seems we never hurt so much
You know I never hurt this much
I know you're scared of this
I know you're scared of that

Forget it, forget it
Let it go and watch it burn
Forget it, forget it
Buried it with all that hurt
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?
...
Just forget it, forget it
Let it go and watch it burn
Forget it, forget it
And buried it with all that hurts
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?

Forget it, forget it
And wipe the tears from your eyes
Forget it, forget it
Learn to live before you die
You don't have to fake it,
How long have you waited?

Forget it, forget it
How long have you waited?

Forget it, forget it
How long have you waited?

James Durbin - Fool for You

As usual, asterisks equals to possible mistakes. So, feel free to comment your corrections to me so I can edit this. I've tried my best with this one :)

Lyrics:

She feels like a butterfly
Stings like a bee
She told me *it's just like a P.I.G.*
You've got me looking over my shoulder

Uh,
A short red dress
With thin white thighs
Bubblegum lips
With starry blue eyes
She's giving me up an American dream

She flirts with my best friend
Screams out but never listen
So tell me what's a
What's a boy to do?
A boy to do?

She goes down for no reason
Steals from me when I'm sleeping
She's holding back a "I love you"
"I love you"s

So tell me why
Tell me why

You always build me up, up to break me down
Look at you, look at you, baby
Calling me king just to steal my crown
Didn't you, didn't you make me
Fought for the games that you play with my head, girl
I'll let you get away with murder
I guess I'm just a fool for you

*With the last gift*, I'm far okay
I've got scratches on my back and face
She really likes to leave a mark
She comes home drunk at 4 am
with *red cream drops* and gin in her hand
And she's keeping me up like I've got a choice
She makes cool seems like sexy
Gets off when she hears McCartney
But she likes it better if I were Bruno Mars

So tell me why
Tell me why

You always build me up, up to break me down
Look at you, look at you, baby
Calling me king just to steal my crown
Didn't you, didn't you make me
Fought for the games that you play with my head, girl
I'll let you get away with murder
I guess I'm just a fool for you

No matter what we hear
Turn the world away
Cause honestly, it's you and me
And nothing's gonna change
What I'm trying to say
That it's enough for me
Ohhh
It's enough for me
It's enough.... for me

But you build me up
You build me up
You always build me up, up to break me down
Look at you, look at you, baby
Calling me king just to steal my crown
Didn't you, didn't you make me
Fought for the games that you play with my head, girl
I'll let you get away with murder

You always build me up, up to break me down
Look at you, look at you, baby
Calling me king just to steal my crown
Didn't you, didn't you make me
Fought with the games that you play with my head, girl
I'll let you get away with murder
I'll let you get away with murder
I guess I'm just a fool for you
Oh yeah
I guess I'm just a fool for you
I'm a fool for you

James Durbin - Issues

A very heart-warming song. I don't have as bad an issue as James has, but we all have our own issues, that we must handle on our own. It sometimes not the fault of our loved ones that we have issues... it's just us being us.

As usual, asterisks show places that I'm not sure of. I welcome any corrections :)

Lyrics:

If you were to say to me

If you ask what's wrong with me?

And I'll tell you it's everything

When I'm tired and feeling sick

When it's nothing you can fix

I want you to know it's not you

Cause I will never be okay

This I know but that's okay

Cause my eyes are never shut

While my heart is wide awake

And it's all that I can do

Tell me what else should I do 

Cause....

I've got issues

I've got scars 

And the colours' just like yours

I was broken

Right from the start

I'm not/no different than you are

I'm not perfect

I'm perfectly flawed, and my scratches 

Don't hurt much at all

But just like you

I've got issues

There were smiles, there were tears

There were times through the years

But I cannot remember yesterday

Everything is like a blur

Loses me around the curb

Always in a high-speed chase

And I'm trying to gain control

Losing/using everything I know

But nothing seems to work

I'll never catch it, this I'm sure

But I will not forget

You've been with me

Step by step

I've got issues

I've got scars 

And the colours' just like yours

I was broken

Right from the start

I'm not/no different than you are

I'm not perfect

I'm perfectly flawed, and my scratches 

Don't hurt much at all

But just like you

I've got issues....

Here, I am well

Cause I don't understand

Is it what that you're saying?

Is it me you meant?

And we've been there

*Jeans I'm wearing keeps out the cold*

To keep me from something

That I'll never know... know......

I've got issues

I've got scars 

And the colours' just like yours

I was broken

Right from the start

I'm not/no different than you are

I'm not perfect

I'm perfectly flawed, and my scratches 

Don't hurt much at all

But just like you..

You know, just like you..

I've got issues....