Sorry for the verrryyyyy long absence! I really wanted to write some stuff here from time to time, but I often find myself too tired to actually do anything productive after work. Not to mention, I always find myself writing here whenever I have some major dilemma or some incident that I just can't stop worrying about. That said, let's just get the rant started!
It has been a whirlwind these few weeks. From an unexpected surprise to my sudden realization that I suck at planning an overseas trip (maybe because I'm still so green behind the ears when it comes to travelling overseas), I've been getting these incredible headaches (I'm still getting it at the mo'), fatigue and immense stress... to the point where my memory completely turned into Swiss cheese and I actually forgot to brew my daily cup of tea... something that I've been doing for more than a year since I started my job... for more than a week!
I'll just be waking up, getting ready, switch on the computer and go straight to work. My off times are often used to worry about all the stuff that I had to delay or ignore due to a fiasco of planning stuff. It's just crazy! It's THAT bad until the phrase "being overwhelmed" becomes an understatement. It's a wonder I haven't had a mental breakdown yet... hmm, wait a sec, I think I might have actually... I went into full-blown panic mode for 2 days when I was worrying about the Visa. LOL
Sigh, actually, if I really think about it, I hadn't had a "normal" (low stress) working month since April. So generally, these 4 months of stress would probably reduced my lifespan by a few years... lol. The stress is not going away anytime soon though either.
Sometimes, I honestly don't understand why people don't just do what they are supposed to do. It's not like I don't treat them well - at least that's what I think. I've helped them when they asked for it and even sometimes when they don't (but it's pretty obvious that they needed help)... to the point when one of them actually told me that I've helped her more than she deserved.
Why is it so difficult for some people to understand the concept of "I help you, you help me"? It's pretty much a win-win situation if they do. Everybody gets to go home happy. It's really simple, people!
It's not just people and work though - I'm also under pressure because my main tool for earning my monthly wages is causing some unnecessary problems for me. Admittedly, I haven't exactly been treating it well - just take a look at the tabs I have open within these 2 weeks where I'm doing a crazy ton of "Google Research". I dare say at peak times, I probably have like 40 tabs open spread across 3 or 4 different browser windows along with a running Photoshop, Skype, some "pending" word docs and notepads, and maybe around 3-4 windows explorer. I'm practically torturing my computer lol. Thank goodness I've upgraded its RAM last year.
Of course, I also have some personal plans that I can't seem to put into motion maybe due to the insane amount of hours I'm putting into my work at the moment. Even when I'm supposed to be "off" work, I'll be planning the things I have to do tmr - just to get all those plans shattered into brilliant tiny pieces - and I'll just be like "winging" it the best I can. Seriously, sometimes I feel like my life's out of control right now. There are just so many stuff to think of, to consider, and (let's not forget about this) to worry about. If you have yet to meet a worry wart... well, congrats, you've just met one...lol!~
Anyway, I'll need to head to the shops to collect my stuff tomorrow, conduct a short (second) training session, send emails, activate stuff, write stuff, and make sure my team has a well-stocked list of stuff to do.... all of these when I'm supposed to be off work tomorrow. What's the point of replacing my working Friday to a Sunday if I'm just going to work on Friday anyways? Haiz...well, till we meet again then!
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