One Republic - Secrets

I need another story

Something to get off my chest

My life gets kind of boring

Need something that i can confess

Till all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said

Come by it honestly I swear

Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink, so

[CHORUS]

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far

It's like we're chasing all those stars

Who's driving shiny big black cars

And everyday I see the news

All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises

Just write it into an album

?Singing straight to cold?

I don't really like my flow, no, so

[CHORUS]

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

Oooohhh

Got no reason

Got no shame

Got no family

I can blame

Just don't let me disappear

I'ma tell you everything

[CHORUS x2]

So tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that were like those years

I'm sick of all the insincere

So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time

Don't need another perfect lie

Don't care if critics ever jump in line

I'm Gonna give all my secrets away

All my secrets away

All my secrets away

"I love The Sorcerer's Apprentice, so no wonder I like the theme song of the movie too ^^" - S.Y

Justin Bieber - Pray

Ohh Ohh Ohh .. and I pray

I just cant sleep tonight.

Knowing that things aint right.

Its in the papers, its on the tv, its everywhere

that I go.

Children are crying.

Soldiers are dying

Some people don't have a home

But I know there's sunshine behind that rain

I know there's good times behind that pain, hey

Can you tell me how I can make a change

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray

I lose my appetite,

knowing kids starve tonight.

And when I sit up,

cause my dinner is still on my plate.

Ooo I got a vision, to make a difference.

And its starting today.

Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain

I know there's good times behind that pain, hey

Haven`t tell me how I can make a change

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes

and- pray...

For the broken-hearted.

I pray for the life not started

I pray for all the ones not breathing.

I pray for all the souls in need.

I pray....

Can you give em one today.

I just cant sleep tonight

Can someone tell me how to make a change?

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and pray

I close my eyes and I can see a better day

I close my eyes and- I pray

I pray ..

I pray ......

I close my eyes and- pray......

"It's nice to see the sensitive side of JB. :)" S.Y

Writing

This is my passion.. my hobby.. it used to be anyway.

I love writing stories - fantasies mainly and had wanted (actually I still hope I could be) an author.

But then another more .. addictive hobby came along - computer games (and then, later, online games). I've abandoned most of my writing projects... all I have left.. are those I've written during my high school years (I've only started writing, officially, when I am in form 1).

I want to restart this hobby of mine.. but now I doubt I could write anything worthwhile any longer. I do not have the confidence.. perhaps I should continue from the stories that I've abandoned? Would it help?

Just some musings of mine. Guess I'll find out soon enough after my finals - have to focus (*Sarcastic* now, that's what I call a joke) on these first.

Okay, back to dragonage (LOL!) and perhaps one more chapter tonight. :P

A failure, I am.. and I like to brood about it

What else could I say? I have just flunked, and I do really mean flunked, my CTCT exams. Awesome isn't it?

I did finished studying it but, truthfully, I haven't fully memorised it, especially with a heavy and clouded head/brain, I doubt I could have done anything.

Actually, I do feel deep down inside that I am going to flunk this exam. I kind of already gave up on it. oh, and not to mention the perfect timing of my toothache/headache problem and now, my feverish and coughing problem. Sigh...

What kind of shit hole did I land myself in? Last time, I was feverish, but when studying, I'm not very unwell though,in MB exam and guess what? I aced it. Probably because I paid more attention in class lol... now I'm worried... I haven't been able to pay attention in class since week 7. That's 2 weeks' worth of lectures, my friends, and oh, not to mention, the classes that I've skipped.

I fail... that's that. And now, instead of going out with my friends to celebrate the end of a disasterous exam, I'm brooding... alone... at home... not my true home though...

Well, the net's down again and actually I haven't surfed the net (except that one time for like 5 minutes) for about 3 days now. I have no idea the 'status' of the internet but it'd better be better soon coz I really need it to do my two friggin reports whereby one of them requires 8 friggin graphs.

Okay, thank you and good day. I'm off to get some not well-earned rest and lunch.

You reap what you sow... is that true?

My friend once told me that she did studied hard enough and she went into the exam hall as confident as possible. However, once she looked at the questions... they just look gibberish to her. She need to know what the question is asking or how on earth is she going to give the answers?

My case... well... I've studied hard and well. I memorized all the formulas needed and know well enough how to use them. I understood the concepts, the theories...... I thought I did well in the test too. I really did. Maybe a few silly mistakes here and there... a couple of marks deducted.. well, it's no big deal, but wait! When the results came out, it's totally not what I had expected. It's way... way, WAY, a lot less than what I had expected. It shattered my heart, my mind, my will to keep going; to keep fighting on... What's the use? Since I'm fated -yes, fated- to get such low and disgraceful marks anyway. What IS the point?

There's no point at all. I study to get that friggin degree... that's it. I've lost my interest in these subjects anyway. Sure, I get interested sometimes when the lecturer said something that I can relate to but most of the time... well, no. Those classes are just plain boring, with a capital B.

I'm at lost as to what to do. It's useless to fight to get what you want anymore. I've been proven right over and over again. It's like life doesn't want me to forget it and keep smashing my face into the pie that's called reality/facts. I've got to face the facts - I thought I did well, I thought I've studied well, but the results sucks #$%@ - Did I really did all the above well enough? I'm very convinced that I did though I might not be.

I just don't understand my situation here. Was my studying methods wrong? Was my understanding of the question wrong? Was I guided to the wrong direction by the lecturer? Was I blinded by the scary truth that I might be a dumb person after all? I need to know the truth, the answer... is there anyone to help me find it?

I SO hate myself right now (I'm not sorry for the high self-criticism - it's just me). What's wrong with me? If the problems are from me anyway. What the hell is wrong with me?

20 marks away from what I've aimed for is something not to look at lightly. It's a friggin 20 marks. Damn! And, FYI, I'm not stupid enough to aimed for full marks, mind you. I'm just aiming for 10 marks below the full marks. It's that just too much to ask?

Sigh. One of these days I'm really going to go crazy or something. Some other pressure I can handle but just not this... the fact that fate doesn't want me to succeed in life (right now). I'm just sad... disappointed... and depressed. Even those people who studied at the very last minute seem to get more marks than me. wtf. I've used 2 whole days to analyse, and understand, and memorize the facts that are given to us. I did focus myself as best as I could and I did remember all that needs to be remembered by the end of the 2-day study period.

Something must be wrong. I'm going to ask the lecturer for my test paper back and recheck the marks as well as her marking. That's the plan and I'll stick to it though the lecturer might be very reluctant to let me see the paper.

Well, guess this is it. A final showdown with fate during the finals and I'll see what I can get. If it's not as expected, then I guess I'll just shift to Arts or something. It's just useless to continue torturing myself by opposing the so-called fate.

Adios.

Almost there...

Hi again! I guess I always find myself here or hopping around the net (namely FB) when there's an exam tomorrow or something :P The worst part is even though I have plenty of time (4 days that is) to study, I seem to like to start studying late and now, I'm kind of like rushing to finish it. And yet... I'm here :|

A few more days till study leave and a few more till finals. Then, it's year 2 for me. Yikes! Time flies doesn't it? I'm approaching my 20th (thanks for always reminding me, mom :S) and that's not a good feeling at all. I just don't want to move on. Let me be a kid... stay as a kid and I'll be grateful, but then my parents won't be happy at all I guess.

Seriously, I've got to polish up my act here. I'm lazying/gaming away, ignoring what's more important in my life. Looking back, I can see my condition worsening over the years, it had not yet improved and I'm starting to worry... a lot. I know I probably can't get the best in all the subjects.. my interest in those subjects are not as deep as I thought I had or as I had hoped to have. Lack of interest in everything is my main concern I guess.

I don't feel like studying at all and yet I have to. Why do people have to do things that they don't want to? Well, simply because you are human. You know the word 'responsibility', or in simpler terms, 'your job'. Now my job is to study hard and not to fail my parents' and my expectations. If I can just change that 'job' into an 'interest'. Sigh.

I can't understand how I can handle all of this during high school. It was almost a breeze in high school though I still face stress all the time. I actually liked exams during high school and look at it as a challenge LOL. Maybe I should just forget about living in the past and force myself to move on. You're not the Saw Yi during high school; you are a new version of her (a better or worse version, you decide).

Well, enough of blabbing away - I've got a job to do. Haiz.. I just hope I can get pass the tests tomorrow with satisfying marks (I'm not even aiming for the highest mark, just an above average will do...)

Nick Carter - The Great Divide

im waking up you're going to sleep

and i wonder are you thinking of me

im getting ready for another day without you

and your.. just starting to dream

its hard to let it go

to make it through the day

its hard to hold on

when we're both so far away

maybe we should just move on

and get on with our lives

but how can we survive

when our hearts are so connected

that will die when you take them apart

(and) when one half of me is missing

if i can't hold you here in my arms

can we overcome the distance

make it through time

can our love raise the water

overcome the great, the great divide....

im soaking up the sun you're underneath the moon

and i wish that i could share it with you

you live your life and im living mine

somehow we've got to find a way to get through

its hard to let it go

to make it through the day

its hard to hold on

when we're both so far away

maybe we should just move on

and get on with our lives

but how can we survive

(how can we survive)

when our hearts are so connected

that will die when you take them apart

and when one half of me is missing

if i can't hold you here in my arms

can we overcome the distance

make it through time

can our love raise the water

overcome the great, the great divide......

the great divide

i keep waiting for the day

where we find a place to stay

and when we'll always wake -up- together (always will be)

and *i* keep waiting for the time

every single night, belongs to me and you

we will never have to move... again

we can spread our roots... and grow woah

cos our hearts are so connected

that will die when you take them apart

and when one half of me is missing

if i can't hold you here in my arms

Can we overcome the distance

make it through time

can our love raise the water

overcome the great, the great.... divide

Woahhh

the great divide ohh yeah

"And another :)" - S.Y