Rascal Flatts - The Day Before You

I had all but given up on finding
The one that I could fall into
On the day before you
I was ready to settle for
Less than love and not much more
There was no such thing as a dream come true
Oh, but that was all the day before you

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

In your eyes I see forever
Makes me wish that my life never knew
The day before you

Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you
Were shaping my heart for the that day I found you
If you're the reason for all that I've been through
Then I'm thankful for the day before you

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

Was the last day that I ever needed alone
And I'm never going back
No I'm never going back

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
No I'm never going back
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

'The ultimate love song IMHO - the story of my life.... hehe :P' S.Y.

What I have realised... and a post grad's frustrations

Sometimes, being angry or upset or even hurt at something for too long is just downright damaging to yourself. Why stay in the dark zone when you can go to the light? Why torture yourself over something other people did?

I know I was rather emo and hurt over something my bf said but well, although it did changed me a little, I'm over it - *snap* just like that :) I'm not one for keeping grudges especially towards people who I love =)

but this is not exactly the reason I wrote this blog post coz that part I've realised it long ago and had used it as one of my life's principles :P

What I've realised recently is that the aura at my lab is rather bad these days - tension is running high. People kept getting upset, offended, arguing... I wonder... is it because people are cooped too much? Isolation is one of the characteristics of a research mode, postgrad student. I wonder who made it this way? Is it because the people who decided to do postgrad are people who are this way? Probably... hmm. I don't actually know what I'm typing here lol... I just type away. I don't even think hmm! :\

Now, to the main question, to continue or not to continue? I mean sure, I'm definitely going to stick it through for masters, but for PhD.. hmm is it necessary? Honestly speaking, I believe that I want to do PhD because the title is cool haha - I'm that crazy and well... vain in some sense :P

But now that I have different life's priorities, I should really reconsider... I suspect Dr Tang will try to drag my PhD (if I really go into this) until 5 years lo... by then I would be 28 with no proper and established career and no proper planning for the future and probably with some mental illness or trauma for being used for so long @.@ shit.... but if really 3 years only, then I can get a doctorate at 26! And my future path is clear :)

but if masters, what kind of job (that I like) can I get? hmm. 2 years for masters means that I will be out among the unemployed at 25 with only slightly higher (a few hundred ringgit) pay coz of that masters cert. Maybe I should really consider going to Singapore. hmm...

I want a better life for myself, my future family and my current family - and I believe a doctorate would help me achieve that. But if its deteriorating effect caused me to change into some evil, sadistic monster who will manipulate their future students in the same way I was, then I'd rather let this go. Yue Rong said not all lecturers are as manipulative as Dr Tang - I know he's a good supervisor, but his way of manipulating his students is something that I, not only dislike, but loath. I really cannot see eye to eye with people like this. He may say he saw potential in me and wanted me to do better so keep adding objectives once I've completed them fast enough - so I cannot graduate earlier... then FU, I'll be off earning some real money instead.

haiz, HL agrees with what he does but each person's are entitled to their opinion. And there I've said it. People like this are like dirt to me. :\ Why can't people just care for other people and get along? They just the selfish bastards that they always are... I mean, ya, sometimes I can be a selfish bastard as well, but you're an EDUCATOR - if you don't care for your student's studies, and besides the students themselves, then who will? Using students as free labour is just downright wrong - you may say you taught us stuff so you're entitled to use your students... well HELLO! reality check, who is the person earning RM 10 000 per month while the rest of us is toiling endlessly coz of your too-big ego. You are earning an income to TEACH your students, NOT to use your students. What do we get from all of this? A f-ing cert that's all. All we want is that f-ing cert and we'll be out of your hair. hmm.

Okay, I'm going to chill before I go to sleep. Tmr will be better - keep telling yourself that and you'll crawl through. and I WILL crawl through, even if I had to crawl using my teeth...

How to find impact factor of journals

Surprisingly, I had a pretty hard time trying to get the impact factor of the paper that I am going to present this Friday. So here are some tips that I found out :P

2 kinds of impact factor - one is the conventional impact factor/eigenfactor score; the other one is the google scholar metrics using the h-index.

To find the impact factor:
1. Go to Journal Citation Reports (JCR)'s database http://admin-apps.webofknowledge.com/JCR/JCR?PointOfEntry=Home&SID=4B4LklnA9c4BnjLiD6j (up to 2011)
Edit: The latest one is here: http://apps.webofknowledge.com/UA_ClearGeneralSearch.do?action=clear&product=UA&search_mode=GeneralSearch&SID=R1EcU2HiA2lZ7Na9pQY 
2. Choose the details of your search query.
3. Get the impact factor/eigenfactor score. You're done! :)

Shortcut: If you knew your journal is under BioMed Central, you can have a quick look through here.


To find the google scholar metrics:
1. From www.google.com, go to the menu bar on the top of the google page. Choose 'more', then choose 'even more'
2. From there, click 'scholar' under specialized search section.
3. Then, you'll be brought to the google scholar search page (P/S: this page is great for searching for journals btw :))
4. At the top right corner of the page, you should see a 'metrics' link. Click on it.
5. Then at the left of the metrics page, you can choose the category of the journal that you want to find as well as the language it is in.
6. Get the google scholar metrics score. You're done! :)

P/S: This is a free database maintained by Google. In terms of reliability, it depends on how you think of it - you can find more info on google scholar metrics via Google :P


Good luck! Now back to that dreary paper that I have to read... sigh

Jocelyn - I Can't be With You

Some people call you crazy.
I said I wouldn't let them phase me, but now I see just what they meant.
And girl it's devastating how we both know we're sinking
into nothing more than a shipwreck.

It's sad but true.
I'm leaving you.

I can't see why this is complicated.
All that I need is to be appreciated.
I'm not waiting until the dust settles in your life.
You've got a chemical inside, and I can't be with you.

I can't be with you.

Your love is like a poison.
Everyone around you knows it.
There's only drama in your life.
I'm always being pulled into whatever you've started then,
but now it's time to say goodbye.

So now I'm through and leaving you.

I can't see why this is complicated.
All that I need is to be appreciated.
I'm not waiting until the dust settles in your life.
You've got a chemical inside, and I can't be with you.

I can't be with you.

Jocelyn - Hold On To This

I'm barely sleeping
There's not a night I'm sober
Too busy dreaming
About your head on my shoulder
You couldn't have meant to say those things when you walked out three days ago

And I'm tired of waiting
To reach your answering machine
It drives me crazy,
But it's a sound that soothes me
What I would give to hear that voice when I'm not standing

near the phone

Is anyone there, and will it make a difference?
I'm going to take a stand before we're over

Hold on to this babe
I'm begging you to hold on to this, and let in the truth
It always has a way of coming out with everything we do
'Cause together we are one and the same

One and the same

It's been a long road
But you say we've reached a dead end
And everyone knows
That I'm the one that wrecked this
I may have doubted you, but now I swear my love is true. I mean it.

Does anyone care? I want to make a difference
You've got to take a stand before we're over

Hold on to this babe. It's better when you
Hold on to this. I never meant to
Break all of these (my) promises whenever I lost confidence in you
'Cause together we are one and the same

It's wrong to be hanging onto empty moments
I can not believe it's over
It's wrong, but I'll keep hanging onto every single thing we had
Is anyone there? Does anyone care?

Hold on to this babe
I'm begging you to hold on to this, and let in the truth
It always has a way of coming out when everything falls through
Because together we are one and the same

Hold on to this babe
It's better when you hold on to this
I never meant to break all of these promises whenever I lost confidence in you
Because together we are one and the same

Jocelyn - Everything (I Want to Know)

Are you really the girl that I used to know?

She said, “Come back, and let me see you.
It’s been far too long since we have been together,
but I remember feelings we shared years ago.”

Are you really the girl that I used to know?
‘Cause I’m not even sure who you are anymore.
I gave up on us baby, but don’t do the same
even though it hurts you to tell everything I want to know.

Everything I want to know.

Where have you been and what have you done?
This space between will tear us up.
Get up, I’m not waiting.
Get up, I’m not waiting for it.
Won’t you say that you need to me make it work?

Are you really the girl that I used to know?
‘Cause I’m not even sure who you are anymore.
I gave up on us baby, but don’t do the same
even though it hurts you to tell everything I want to know.

Everything I want to know.

Code Geass - Continued Story

Lyrics:

God bless our king, it's a bright light day
Let us worship in your triumph

Ad this story's mine and this moment's mine
Can I steal your pain and shed it away
To amend this pain to avoid this pain
Can I share this pain and carry it away


Ad this story's mine and this moment's mine
Can I steal your pain and shed it away
To amend this pain to avoid this pain
Can I share this pain and carry it away

Lalalalalala, to the day in my new era

Lalalalalala, to the day in my dreaming land

Towards the light and this moment's mine
Can I steal your pain and shed it away

Towards the light and this moment's mine
Can I steal your pain and shed it away....
-musical break-


*continue below*

Original / Romaji Lyrics	English Translation
Sono hitotsubu no shizuku de sae mo Hana wo mamoru ka mo shirenai Sono waraigao tada sore dake de Sashinoberu te ni mo nareru Sono furueteru koe atsumereba Kaze wo okosu ka mo shirenai Sono inochi to iu hakanaki akari Tomoshite ashi wo susumeyou	With even a single drop of your water I might be able to protect the flowers Simply by showing me your smile, just with that I'll even come to be able to offer my hand If I gather up your trembling voices I might cause the wind to blow Turn on the ephemeral light that is Your life, and let's move along our way
* Rararararararararan   Itsuka mata aou   Rararararararararan   Ikiteru kagiri	* Lala lala lalalala la   Let us meet again someday   Lala lala lalalala la   As long as we're alive
Toki wo koe toraerareteru Afureru kono omoi ha nani? Yasashisa ga mejiri ni niau Ano hito-tachi ha ima doko ni iru no? God bless our king, it's a bright light day Let us worship in your triumph	That is this overflowing emotion That can cross over time and capture me? Where now are those people to whom Gentleness suits the corners of their eyes?
Tonari ni ha atarashii seki Mirai no tame ni mata deau	There is a new seat next to me We will meet again for the sake of the future
Kazaranai mama dekiru dake Ikite miyou kyou to iu hi Kanashikute hito ha setsunai Soredemo dokomademo michi ha tsudzuku	I can just do it while unadorned Let's try to live through this day When they're sad, people are in pain But even so, the path will go on forever
* Rararararararararan   Itsuka mata aou   Rararararararararan   Ikiteru kagiri	* Lala lala lalalala la   Let us meet again someday   Lala lala lalalala la   As long as we're alive
** Rararararararararan     Kaze ga hakobu mono     Rararararararararan     Asu wo hiraku merodi	** Lala lala lalalala la     The wind will carry along     Lala lala lalalala la     A melody that opens up tomorrow
* Rararararararararan   Itsuka mata aou   Rararararararararan   Ikiteru kagiri ** Rararararararararan     Kaze ga hakobu mono     Rararararararararan     Asu wo hiraku merodi	* Lala lala lalalala la   Let us meet again someday   Lala lala lalalala la   As long as we're alive ** Lala lala lalalala la     The wind will carry along     Lala lala lalalala la     A melody that opens up tomorrow

Translated and transliterated by Ayu Ohseki 

'I love the melody in this song :)' S.Y.