A few more days till study leave and a few more till finals. Then, it's year 2 for me. Yikes! Time flies doesn't it? I'm approaching my 20th (thanks for always reminding me, mom :S) and that's not a good feeling at all. I just don't want to move on. Let me be a kid... stay as a kid and I'll be grateful, but then my parents won't be happy at all I guess.
Seriously, I've got to polish up my act here. I'm lazying/gaming away, ignoring what's more important in my life. Looking back, I can see my condition worsening over the years, it had not yet improved and I'm starting to worry... a lot. I know I probably can't get the best in all the subjects.. my interest in those subjects are not as deep as I thought I had or as I had hoped to have. Lack of interest in everything is my main concern I guess.
I don't feel like studying at all and yet I have to. Why do people have to do things that they don't want to? Well, simply because you are human. You know the word 'responsibility', or in simpler terms, 'your job'. Now my job is to study hard and not to fail my parents' and my expectations. If I can just change that 'job' into an 'interest'. Sigh.
I can't understand how I can handle all of this during high school. It was almost a breeze in high school though I still face stress all the time. I actually liked exams during high school and look at it as a challenge LOL. Maybe I should just forget about living in the past and force myself to move on. You're not the Saw Yi during high school; you are a new version of her (a better or worse version, you decide).
Well, enough of blabbing away - I've got a job to do. Haiz.. I just hope I can get pass the tests tomorrow with satisfying marks (I'm not even aiming for the highest mark, just an above average will do...)
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