But from what you've said last night - it really hurt me. Yes, I am naive, ignorant and stupid, that I admit - I didn't know what it takes to set up a f-king business, but the way you said that to me... it's like you're mocking me (that's how I felt that time and I was deeply hurt but I kept up a facade throughout the night) and it made me feel demeaning. I never thought I would ever hear these sort of words coming from you, out of all people. Did you know that few minutes of 'talk' you gave me felt to me as though they were hours? Long... and agonising hours? Why did you do that to me?
I've all but forgotten about it until you teased me today and it somehow triggered my anger and I recalled that thing you said to me yesterday.
Yes, in this kind of situation, I get hurt easily. Did you noticed that I avoided having contact with you today? Since this morning that is....? You said, you talk like this to all your friends - yes, I know, I've seen and heard it but then, I wonder... am I just your friend?
And from yesterday, I've heard a lot - and I wonder why you let yourself be trapped in that kind of situation?
You know HL is going to ruin your supervisor's account and that it'll definitely affect you and your studies... badly and you're like 'yeah, let's ruin his account anyway' - you don't really care about staying here isit? Did you realised what you did? You're just ruining yourself! And there I was - worrying away for you and was about to confront HL and to ask him to think of his friend's (your) welfare, but you didn't care about your studies after all? And some friend he is if he asked you to join his lab only to pull you down together with someone that he had a grudge with. His revenge shouldn't be adversely affecting his friends... or perhaps he doesn't think of you as his friend?
Also, I was very concerned when I heard you said something about - 'if that something doesn't suit you, just leave and find another. It's not like the world has so few people only.' - oh ho, so you really think that way ya? When I'm no longer needed or loved, I will be discarded like some piece of trash? Is that really the way you think? But in this aspect I might have been thinking too much as he was not using these words in this context but I feel that your words do reflect who you are and, how and what you think.
I don't know what to think anymore. Maybe I am really thinking too much. Maybe I'm just upset and hurt that last night went that way. Maybe I'm just super-tired due to lack of sleep. Maybe I'm just being silly. Maybe I just don't understand you. Maybe you might think that I'm a drama queen after all. But one thing is for sure, I really regretted my decision to stay at Bertam last night... I really do. There are things that I wish I did not hear... especially some of those words that came from your own mouth.
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